


Nothing but Empty

by DestielInTheFlames



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Blood and Gore, Case Fic, DeanCas - Freeform, Death, Destiel - Freeform, Hurt Dean Winchester, Love Confessions, M/M, Michael Possessing Dean Winchester, Minor Character Death, Original Character(s), SPN - Freeform, Season/Series 14 Spoilers, Sorry I’m bad at tags, TFW 2.0, Werewolves, season 14 based, tfw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-10-11 04:16:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17439785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DestielInTheFlames/pseuds/DestielInTheFlames
Summary: A case goes wrong and causes Dean to open up about his time with Michael possessing him.





	Nothing but Empty

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has season 14 spoilers seeing as it’s based after the season 14 mid-season finale. I wasn’t sure what to put for warnings so be cautious when reading this.

“Oh, that’s just gross!”, Dean whispers to himself. His flashlight beams down on the torn apart body of a young man, or at least he looks young.

He turns to face towards the doorway, a growl immediately greeting him. Dean’s eyes widen as he quickly raises his gun at the werewolf.

“Shit..” He mumbles as the werewolf slaps the gun right out of his hand. Dean ignores the weapon hitting the ground to try to land a punch. The werewolf backs off temporarily in pain, which Dean uses as an advantage to rush to grab the gun. It’s unsuccessful when the werewolf tackles him down to the floor. It happens too fast for a proper reaction. Maybe Sam is having better luck searching downstairs. Dean can only hope so. He hasn’t heard anything to alarm him yet. That has to be a good sign. 

 

***************************

 

It’s been a week since Dean escaped Michael’s possession for the second time. He couldn’t have done it without Sam and Castiel doing a little poking around in his mind. Dean hadn’t been aware he was trapped inside of his own mind at the time, not until his brother and the angel found him. After freeing him, Sam insisted that he rest up. Castiel agreed with him, which irritated Dean.

He told them over and over that he was fine. Hell, he even lied and told them he didn’t remember what Michael made him see in his own head. They still insisted on resting up. It didn’t take long for the two of them to realize Dean was going to hunt with or without them.

 Sam found them a case after that, and they arrived in Salina, Kansas yesterday morning with Castiel and Jack. The case seemed iffy considering the information they had wasn’t too.. informative. The article Sam found said that at least five people mysteriously went missing. The police have yet to locate any of the five victims. Blood, torn up houses, and clear forced entry was evidence uncovered by the police. Might as well check it out. The latest victim disappeared the night before the four of them had arrived in town.

 After checking into their motel rooms, Sam and Dean went to speak with the police. They were informed that there were multiple suspects at this time. Two of the suspects, Mandy and Chris, knew all of the victims and lived a few houses away from the last victim. There was another family they had as suspects. Ryan, Brandon, and their daughter Gloria all knew the victims. The three of them lived right next to one of the victims. Either family could be responsible for the disappearances, or they could be the next victims.

 Dean and Castiel went to question Mandy and Chris, which nothing seemed off about the two of them. The only thing that stood out were the comforting looks and touches they shared as Cas and Dean’s questions made them think about the fact that their friends were missing and might not be okay. Dean left them with his number to call if anything suspicious happened.

 Sam and Jack visited Ryan, Brandon, and Gloria at their house. Brandon cried almost the whole time while holding their baby daughter Gloria. Ryan held him tightly in his arms and sadly answered each and every question calmly. There was no way they were responsible for the disappearances. Sam did the same as Dean, leaving this family with his number.

 It wasn’t until late that night that Dean’s cellphone started ringing. He instantly had Chris shouting frantically into his ear before he put it on speaker. He was shouting about the house being broken into and his wife missing.

 “Get out of the house and run to where you’ll be safe.” Dean speaks to Chris, but looks at the other three in the motel room with him. “Cas, Jack, you need to go check the other family. Chris, we’ll be there as soon as we can!”

 The drive to the house felt like hours even with Dean driving reckless the whole way there. The first thing Sam points out is the broken down front door. It’s pitch black inside of the house as they enter. It’s quiet.. TOO quiet.

 “I’ll take the upstairs.” The older Winchester whispers to his brother, waving him off to search the downstairs. Dean quickly heads upstairs with his flashlight the only source of light, and his gun in hand ready to shoot. He scans around the area, not finding anything. Maybe Chris and Mandy got out safely and whatever came for them left already..

 The first room he walks into is the bathroom, which is an ordinary bathroom. Nothing is out of place. The next room he checks is the master bedroom. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have the same luck. The bed is a mess. Sheets falling off, redness staining them (blood he figures), and there’s glass shards from picture frames and even the window everywhere. Dean slowly approaches around the other side of the bed. He winces at the body laying there on the floor in a pool of blood. It’s torn so badly that it’s hard to even tell who it was. It registers right as he opens his mouth to speak.

 “Oh, that’s just gross!” Dean’s mind reminds him of Chris. The man who is now just a body on the floor. He told him to run. He must have been looking for his wife and got caught by the creature that did this. It looks fresh. They were only seconds late.. if only he would’ve parked the impala outside of the house and watched it instead of going back to the motel.

 Dean turns to leave the room. He can’t stand seeing Chris like this any longer. Right as he turns around to head out, the werewolf is there and ready to attack.

 

***************************

 

Dean takes ahold of the wrist of the werewolf that’s currently trying to scratch his face off. He pushes back to try to shove it off of him. His pistol is barely out of arms reach.. if he can just..

 Dean does what seems like one of the best options right now and headbutts the werewolf before shoving it away. He barely manages to grab the pistol right as the werewolf gets ready to pounce. It’s one quick pull of the trigger that sends a silver bullet piercing through the werewolf’s heart, causing it to collapse to the floor lifeless.

 It takes a moment for Dean’s heavy breathing to return to normal. He climbs back to his feet and grabs the flashlight that he let go of when trying to protect his face. He’s got a few claw marks, but that’s it.

 Right as Dean steps back into the hallway, there’s a gun shot followed by Sam shouting for Dean. Oh god, he really hopes Sam wasn’t on the receiving end of the bullet. He’s already turned to head downstairs, but a female’s scream interrupts and draws his attention to the guest bedroom at the opposite end of the hallway. There’s another gun shot that has him wanting to run right back downstairs and check on his brother, but Sam can handle himself. The scream is more than likely Mandy’s. He has to check on her first.

 “Son of a bitch!” Dean yells as he runs into the guest bedroom, immediately seeing Mandy trapped in the corner by two werewolves ready for their next meal. “Hey!” He shouts drawing the attention of them. He doesn’t hesitate to shoot one of the werewolves, but before he can shoot the other, he’s pinned to the wall. The pistol and flashlight being ripped from his hands. The werewolf grabs onto Dean’s throat, squeezing. It takes him a second until it clicks that these werewolves are familiar..

 The missing people.. it’s them, but they’ve been turned. Now it makes sense why no one could locate them. They’ve been off with their werewolf pals.

 Dean gasps trying to gain air, he can’t breathe. Even as he tries to punch the hands from his throat, he can’t get them to budge. He’s about to go in for the kick, but suddenly a bang rings through his ears and the grip on his throat is gone. He gasps finally regaining oxygen, his eyes immediately finding Sam standing there. It’s an instant relief and gives him a chance to glance at Mandy. She doesn’t look like she’s been touched.

 “Dean, are you okay!?” Sam rushes to his brother’s side, setting the pistol down. He doesn’t turn the flashlight off until Mandy flips on the light for him. “Dean?”

 Dean takes in the sight of Sam, glad that he’s alright. He nods even as he notices the blood splattered all over Sam. He’s also got some pretty minor scratches, but he’s fine.

 “I’m good, Sammy. Don’t worry about me.” Dean forces a smile and looks over at Mandy. “How about you? Are you okay?”

 Mandy frowns deeply and shakes her head. She steps over next to the Winchesters with sadness in her eyes and fear. “Where’s Chris? Did he leave before they got to him?”

 Sam frowns and looks back at Dean for the answer. Dean looks at Sam with sorrow in his eyes, then looks back at the woman. He shakes his head ever so slightly and it’s enough to send Mandy into a crying fit.

 

 

***************************

 

Not knowing if the case is actually over or if the werewolves they took out we’re all of them, they agree that Sam and Jack should stay in town a couple days longer to make sure it’s safe. Dean and Castiel go back to the bunker. It’s easy for Castiel to notice how quiet the ride is on their way back. The music stays very faint and Dean doesn’t really say much. He even refuses to let Cas heal the few scratches on his cheek and forehead.

 There aren’t even words exchanged when they arrive at the bunker. It’s just the two of them getting out of the car and Dean immediately going to his room. Castiel stands there with concern. Should he address Dean about this? Most of the time he just shuts everyone out when there’s something wrong. Sometimes it’s no use trying to get Dean to open up, but still.. he should try.

 Castiel lets Dean have his space while he checks in with Sam to see how things are going there. Nothing more has happen. After the call, he goes to Dean’s bedroom, stopping when he’s standing in the doorway.

 Dean’s sitting on his bed, head buried in his hands. Either he doesn’t know Cas is standing there, or he just doesn’t care. It’s even more worrying to Cas.

 “Dean, how are you doing?” Castiel asks softly, slowly moving to step into the room. Dean finally moves his hands and looks up at the angel. There’s an obviously fake smile on his face.

 “I’m great.” He says in a raspy voice that proves to be anything **but** fine.

 “Are you okay? I know that case didn’t go as-“ Cas starts, but Dean is quick to intervene with the sentence finishing.

 “It has nothing to do with the case, Cas!” Dean shouts, eyes already showing guilt for yelling at the angel. He shakes his head and takes a deep breath. “That case was shit, alright? But that’s not even all there is to it.”

 Castiel tilts his head, eyes narrowing at the man. He hesitantly sits on the bed, next to Dean. “Then what is there to it?”

 When Dean stays silent, Castiel tries again. “Dean? You don’t have to keep this all to yourself.”

 The Winchester sighs and looks down at his feet. It takes him a minute before he finds his voice again. “It’s Michael..” he starts quietly.

 The truth is that Dean hasn’t been the same since Sam, Jack, and himself went into Dean’s mind to save him. Castiel knows that. The Winchester has been closed off since the second possession of the archangel. He’s been... not present. It seemed like he was still trapped in his own mind.

 “What about Michael? Have you had anymore contact with him?” Castiel asks with anger in his tone.

 Dean shakes his head and glances at Castiel. “I lied to you guys. I told you I didn’t remember anything about being trapped inside of myself, but I do. I remember it **all**. I remember the cruel mind games he played, the feeling of drowning, the pain and sadness, and most of all.. the **fear**.”

 Castiel frowns at the words. He understands why Dean would lie. It’s Dean Winchester. That’s why. The man that doesn’t want to be a burden, that doesn’t want to show his emotions properly. The man too afraid to open up. Castiel understands.

 “I’m sorry, Dean..” Castiel begins, but receives only a glance from Dean.

 “Not your fault. It’s just... he corrupted everything. Michael corrupted everything. The memories I have. He mad sure to destroy all of them. He made sure to tear apart the happiest ones.” Dean’s eyes are filled with tears as he turns and finally looks at Castiel. The sadness is almost overwhelming for Cas. Dean doesn’t deserve this.

 “The worst part was he didn’t let me know I was trapped. He let me relive each memory and each one would end with misery. With pain. Some of the worst pain I’ve ever felt, Cas.” Dean’s tears fall down his face. He runs a hand over his face collecting some of them.

 Castiel can feel the tears stinging in his own eyes. He’s an angel, he’s not supposed to cry. Here he is ready to all because of the pain Dean suffered. All from the pain one human suffered.

 “Michael.. he’s twisted. He should never have touched you, Dean. You never should have gone through any of that. Your memories are sacred things that should **never** be messed with. They’re yours to keep.” Cas speaks quietly, barely able to keep his eyes on Dean. It hurts too much seeing him like this.

 “Each memory was worse than the last.” Dean continues as if he didn’t even hear Cas’ words. “Cas, he took memories I had with you and crushed them. The first time we met.. he broke it into pieces. The night with you, Sam, Bobby, Ellen, Jo... all destroyed. The memory of you saying- you saying ‘I love you’... gone.” Dean’s voice is so shaky. He’s apparently given up on stopping the tears. They’re all running down his face.

 Castiel takes a deep breath, the memory catching him off guard. That was the night in the barn when he was dying. He had finally admitted his true feelings for Dean in the fear that he was dying and would never get another chance to admit them. He still told the others he loved them, but he hoped Dean had understood the meaning. They just never spoke of those words again. Not until now. Cas never knew he still thought about that.

 Castiel quickly pulls Dean into a tight hug. It’s obvious that he needs the comfort. This is **a**   **lot** to say out loud. Dean opening up this much isn’t easy. This is the most he’s ever opened himself up to anyone. That’s what has Cas squeezing even tighter.

 “It’s okay, Dean. That’s the past. You can have new memories.” Cas mumbles.

 “No! It’s not okay!” Dean pulls out of the hug and looks directly into Castiel’s eyes. The pain still burning in his eyes. “Cas, you don’t understand! Michael took so many damn memories, and he **stole** my memory of falling in love because he knew it would hurt the most! There’s only one **you** , Castiel! I can’t just go fall in love with you again!” Dean yells, his breathing even heavier. His voice broke in middle of the last sentence.

 The angel stares wide eyed at Dean. There’s not a chance he heard that right. It almost sounded like a love confession.. that Dean loves him. He swallows hard and shakes his head slightly. This can’t be real.

 “Dean, what-“ He can’t even bring himself to ask about it. Cas is shock, only staring at the man sitting next to him.

 Dean’s expression softens and the tension eases in his body. He gives Castiel the saddest eyes and a small genuine smile. “You poor clueless son of a bitch...” and there’s even a chuckle that comes with those words.

 Castiel struggles with words for about a minute straight, and then there’s this weird noise that he chokes out before actually speaking.

 “Dean, what did you just say?” Castiel croaks out.

 Dean places his hands on Castiel’s shoulders, his eyes completely focused on Cas’. The smile still rests on his lips. “I love you, Castiel.” He says so softly.

 Hearing his full name come from Dean’s mouth makes him shudder. It’s been said by the man before, but it sounds so new so suddenly. He’s convinced he’s frozen in place. Dean’s smile eventually starts slipping when Cas doesn’t say anything. That’s when he forces the words out.

 “I love you too, Dean.” Castiel speaks so softly that he’s not even sure the words actually came out. They might still be caught in his throat

 Dean must’ve heard it, however, because his lip twitches back up into a smile. “Say it again, Cas.”

 “I-“ He barely says before the Winchester moves his hands to cup Castiel’s face. He pulls them a little closer, waiting to hear the rest. “I love you, Dean Winchester.” Castiel finishes louder. He smiles right after the words flow easily from his lips.

 The two continue to stare into each other’s eyes for a few seconds longer until Dean slowly starts pulling Cas’s face towards his. Dean’s eyes flicker down to Cas’ lips, then back up to his eyes before he closes them. Castiel admires him until their lips are almost touching. His own eyes slip closed as he waits for the moment their lips make contact.

Castiel waits... he waits.. the contact never comes. His lips never touch the lips he’s been waiting so long to kiss. He never feels what it’s like to kiss Dean Winchester, the man that taught him how to love. When his eyes open again, it’s pure blackness. It’s nothing.. it’s empty.

 ‘ _And_ _then_ _when_ _you_ _finally_ _give_ _yourself_ _permission_ _to_ _be_ _happy_ , _and_ _let_ _the_ _sun_ _shine_ _on_ _your_ _face..._ _that’s_ _when_ _I’ll_ _come_ ’

 Castiel hears the words run through his head. The empty. He’s in the empty. He finally allowed himself to be happy.. and now he’s miserable. Now Dean thinks he left. He thinks Cas ran away. He thinks he lied. Castiel will never see Dean again. Castiel will never be freed.

And now Dean Winchester will be left on earth... now Dean Winchester will wonder if this actually happened, if it was just a dream, or if it’s yet another one of Michael’s mind games used to torture him..

**Author's Note:**

> This was painful to write... but I’m open to possibly exploring the specifics of what Dean had to go through with Michael, or maybe them trying to save Castiel. Leave comments and let me know. (Fight scenes are hard to write)


End file.
